You deleted me soon after I updated my relationship status. Did it hurt too much or is there no point being friends if you can’t have me when you want me?
Changes in Life
As time passes us by, we go into different paths….some may be good…..others not so good. I’ve learned that in order to grow into the person that you want to be, there’s certain mistakes you have to make. In my life i would say i have made quite a lot, and some are still hard to sometimes get over…..others i have learned to just keep going. At this point in my life I’ve hit a certain bump in my life, one that i didn’t think i would ever hit, and it’s the scariest thing to go through by yourself. If you asked me now if i saw this coming…. i would have said “that would never happen to me” but it did. And i will get through it……i don’t know as to how i will but i know that i am strong and i can pick myself up from every obstacle that hits me. I know i have the right support system that will help me get over this….. my only hope is…….that I don’t regret or resent myself or another person for the decision i end up making. but only time will tell…….
Deserved
I won’t apologize. For loving you or for leaving you. You deserved them both.
Not Questions
How am I supposed to love you in private. How am I supposed to miss you alone. How am I supposed to win you back when all we were was just a secret.
Best Thing
I always thought I’d be bitter and angry at you, but finally being able to forgive you was the best thing to have happened between us.
The truth is, I had already forgiven you before the door had even clicked shut behind me. Now it’s time for you to forgive yourself, okay?
You deserve to be happy, too.
There’s a million conversations we never got to have. A million places we never made it to. A million nights we never crawled into bed with each other. There was a whole life carved out…just for US. All we had to do was step into it.
Hopefully someone else gets the happiness we didn’t use.
20 Years
It’s been 20 years. We’re both married with kids and know there’s no turning back. Yet every time we meet the chemistry is still so strong. You were my first everything. I still miss you. In another life…maybe.
Let the past be the past
Today I decided I wanted to go and take a walk outside and enjoy the beautiful fall weather. While I listen to music on my walk I think of reasons why I should move on from certain things. I realize I have a lot of fears that hold me back, that makes it harder to move on. But I also realize that nothing has happens in 6yrs. while holding on to those things except…. sadness, and I don’t want to feel that anymore. I want to liberate myself from it and let the past be the past, and enjoy new things. Experience things that will make me feel a million emotions. I want to be overwhelmed with happiness, love, hope, faith and so on. I want to find the carefree person that I always wanted to be. And when I do I’ll know that my past has finally stayed in the past, where it only haunts itself….
I can’t decide which is worse - If we stopped talking completely, or that we’re still talking like nothing’s changed.
I don’t think about you anymore, so you could say that I’m moving on. But when someone does something that you do, then I think about you. I know that I care. I always will for you.
It always happens
Shaving Off Bits
Every day I am shaving off bits of you, but I just can’t get rid of you without getting rid of an essential part of me.
Better Left Alone……
So today i decided that i was going to try and face a fear that i’ve been trying to avoid for a month now. I decided that it would be a chance to see if there was any consolation to what had happened a month ago. To my surprise there was, i didn’t think i was actually going to get a response at all, and guess what? i did get a response, and i know should be happy about it. But i am actually nervous and almost on the edge of crying. And yeah i don’t know why i would even consider crying at all, its not even worth my tears, but there’s so much feelings and emotions invested in the last couple of months.
